03:50 Jun 14 2009
Times Read: 575
I think I am finally at my breaking point; I thought I was there two days ago but now I know I really am.
This move, even though it is only 3 houses away from where I am living now is starting to take its toll and is killing me.
I have absolutely no help at all; I am all alone here with all of it. I have never felt so alone before in my life.
I love that old house, I am so proud that we were able to get it as we did, but it has been standing there waiting and empty for someone to come along and give it the TLC it so badly needs for almost 2 years. The people who lived there prior were nothing short of nasty individuals. I am now going into day four just cleaning the stove top alone, let alone being able to do anything else in the house.
The stove, I discovered as I started taking it apart to clean had over an inch of grease collected in some areas of it, the filter is so caked with grease, rotten food and dust is so thick I have serious doubts I can actually get it cleaned, I think a new filter is what is going to have to happen. But, finding it for a stove the age it is is going to be a new challenge.
So far I have scrubbed down the Master bedroom, the sun room which will be my office, the upstairs bathroom, and have started the kitchen…I still have two more bedrooms, the downstairs half bath, the living room and dining room and basement to go. So far the Master bedroom took 2 and half days to scrub down top to bottom, 2 days on the sun room, and two days on the upstairs bath and like I said, I am moving into day 4 on the stove alone. I feel helpless and tired; I am so very very tired.
To make matters worse, I also have to pack up this house I am currently living in and get the contents moved over to the new house. Boxes are everywhere and they are heavy, I am going to have to at least move them over and place them into the clean rooms just so I can move around and actually continue to pack more, I have ran out of room here to try to pack anymore, and again I have to do it all by myself. Yes, I am sinking into that dreaded self pity party I hate so much.
My husband is still away for his two weeks of annual training he has to do every summer with the National Guard. My youngest daughter is still healing and recuperating after a very bad car accident. My other daughter and her so-called boyfriend were supposed to be here today if they could find a ride since they are currently without a car, but of course they haven’t shown up, which I sort of predicted but tried to hope for them to be here just the same. Everyone else I have helped over the years isn’t answering my calls, so I guess no one really gives a damn about even chipping in for a few hours of shuttling over boxes and misc chairs and shelves, light work stuff, which would help me beyond words.
I feel myself starting to get sick from lack of sleep, over tired muscles, not eating properly so my sugar is crashing because I simply don’t have time to stop to eat or sleep like I need…oh well, I guess it doesn’t matter…I gotta get back to work.
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